j_mack17694
Future…
At the moment I’m not really doing anything with my life; I don’t have a job and I’m no longer at school…
Although I don’t regret this decision, I do have a little more perspective looking in hindsight. I feel as if I had my childhood ripped away from me. I was dealing with things most people wouldn’t have to deal with until late adulthood; if even at all. Because of this, last year I completely ruled out furthering my education. My brain was so preoccupied on keeping everyone else happy and making sure they were safe that I never really looked after myself.
Since now I don’t have anything else to worry about apart from me, I’m looking at things differently… I don’t regret not doing Year 13. I didn’t feel right being at school, being watched by hundreds of teachers and having to conform; to do everything the same way as everyone else. I never really did like school, and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now if I had gone back this year.
A few of my twitter friends/acquaintances have started Uni this year and it does look/sound fun.
But well aside from the fact that it looks fun, it is what I used to want to do (before the childhood was snatched away). I don’t want to be stuck in a dead-end job for the rest of my life. And I’m not saying that if you don’t attend university that that is what’s going to happen. I know plenty of amazing and bright people that are doing very well in life without going to Uni.
I’ve recently been told that I could start in August, at the beginning of the second semester, but then there’s the problem of what I’d want to do………..
February 29th
It’s a date that only ever happens once every four years and last week, it got me thinking… It’s rather quite amazing how much can change (and how dramatically) in four years time.
29/02/2008
I had just started high school, i was eager, willing to learn and an enthusiastic young boy. Although behind the facade of my happiness; home life was not great… My parents had just separated and were starting the process of their divorce. There were fights every night and inside I felt miserable. My cousin and her 3 children had just moved in with us to ease the transition of my dad leaving and my sister had also just moved out.
I had never felt so alone in my own home.
My happiness at school was short-lived. My mind was never really focussed on what was going on around me but rather back home with my struggling mother and the issues that were being deeply rooted into my family. I hated school by the end of Term 1. I was bullied everyday, I was surrounded by people who didn’t understand me and I started falling behind in my work.
Later on in the same year, round about August my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer… The zero tolerance on bullying stance at my school didn’t do anything to stop the way I was being treated and my mind was still more focussed at home then at school.
I started wagging. I didn’t see the point in being somewhere that my mind wasn’t. I remember I went home one day during P.E while everyone was doing the cross country practice and I decided to go home and bake cookies and a cake instead.
I ran home the day my mother went into hospital to get her lump taken out and I was told to go back to school. To not worry about it and to get on with my life. So not only at school was I misunderstood but also at home. The place I thought was a rescue, was no rescue at all…
After the breast cancer and the seperation, my mother started drinking again. I was dealing with it quite well at the time but it rapidly deteriorated over the next four years; which I could ramble on about, but I’ll save you the agony.
29/02/2012
So four years ahead, I’ve just left high school (I’ve decided not to do Year 13) and my life is finally looking up. Things are finally going well, I’m in a stable environment with one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met in my entire life and my mother’s alcoholism is being put at bay.
